Birthdays, weight loss, and hurt feelings

Well this has been a most interesting couple of days. I survived the joint birthday party for the boys, they had a blast. Matthew especially loved it because it was Thomas the Train themed, I think Michael could have cared less. I am taking Matt to Fant's in Guntersville on Saturday, they have a whole Thomas section with the wooden train set set up. I know he will be so excited. We are still working on the whole Potty training thing. I have got him some pull-ups and some big boy underwear which by the way he looks so cute in. I can't believe he is three years old.

I have survived my first month of doctor supervised diet. I am down 5.8 lbs in the first month. Yeah me! I am under a doctor's supervised diet for 6 months so I can have my Gastric By-pass surgery. I am determined to get healty and look as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside.

Been kind of a slow but busy couple of days. I got my feelings hurt real bad a couple of days ago. My husband for the second time in less that a year said he didn' t love me anymore, and for those that really know me, know that it cut me like a knife. I honestly didn't know what to say to him. I told him if that were true then he needed to move on so that I could. I don't know how to handle this kind of stress. I always thought I was worthy of someone loving me, but now I wonder. I have had two men in my life that told me they didn't really love me. The first was my exhusband who told me he only married me so he could make more money in the Army, but I don't think he really meant it, and the second is my current husband. What am I doing to chase these men away. I love someone whole heartedly and get nothing in return. In defence of my first husband we were young and stupid and he now has a wonderful wife and two beautiful children that loves him very much and I am so happy for him. I just wonder why or what have I done that makes me unworthy of happiness. I try so very hard. All I have ever wanted was to be a good person, have a man who loved me good or bad, and a family.

Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing what lays ahead of me. I know that God will not give me more than I can deal with, he walks beside me carrying the burden for me.